Tips on How to Move With Family

If you have children or aging parents who live with you, a move can be both and exciting and frightening experience. When do you tell them? What can you do to help prepare them for the upcoming change? What kinds of reactions can you expect from them?

Getting Them Mentally Prepared

Most importantly, tell your family members as soon as possible about an upcoming move. While you may have already wrapped your mind around leaving, they may have to adjust to what this means for them. Saying goodbye to friends can be especially tough, and if you have teenage children, can be fraught with anger and resentment for making them leave.

Planning a Routine

Young children tend to adapt well to moves, especially if they have a routine in place that can be duplicated at their new home. Your attitude towards moving goes a long way towards determining their reaction, so even if you have worries, it’s best to try to remain positive and excited about the move for their benefit. You may also want to offer extra reassurance that they won’t be left behind.

Focus on the Positive

Preschool and elementary aged children will ask questions and will worry about what a move means, especially if this is their first time. Try to accentuate the positives for them so they have something exciting to look forward to. For example, will they have a nicer school? More parks to play in? Or maybe there are more youth organizations available for them to join to make new friends. If you can take them with you while house hunting, this is even better since they feel like they have some control over what is going on. And allowing them to help pack up their belongings, and picking out new colors for their new rooms will make them feel involved and grown up.

Let Them Help with the Process

Middle school aged children are already at an age where they start to question what it means to be popular and have a large base of friends. Moving for them may be extremely stressful when thinking about having to start over as the new kid in school. Whether you choose to move during the school year or over the summer, be prepared for a great deal of upset from your young teenager.

Allowing them to search for information about their new town, and learning about local sports or hobby clubs may alleviate some of the anxiety they are feeling. And if possible, allow them to be involved in some say in what they would like in their new home. This way they feel like they have some say in what is happening in their lives. Being able to see and pick out their new room, or see the new neighborhood and school takes away some of the fear of the unknown. Visiting the local mall or watching a local sports team may make them feel more excited about moving. Having some special tasks assigned to them may help them feel some importance in the upcoming move as well.

Considering Alternatives

Your most difficult critics of any move are going to be your high school aged children, especially if they have lived in one area all of their lives. Moving for them is giving up their entire world, and deep friendships, and a sense of placement in society. Be prepared for multiple outbursts and rebellion, and try to meet them with patience and understanding. Explaining exactly why you are moving may not make them feel better, but may allow them to understand why this move is absolutely necessary. If your child is almost done with high school, and you have close friends or family in the area, you may want to discuss with them the possibility of your child staying with them to finish out the school year. This may make the transition a more palatable change for them.

Finally remember that at some point in the future, your new house will be home, and you will be settled in. Your children will resume their sports, school, and religious activities, and will make new friends. As will you.